This is awesome: Best rant ever

In honor of the Mets beating the Indians last night (barely, thanks to the fact that Frankie Rodriguez is incapable of making anything easy ever), I present to you the greatest baseball rant in the history of baseball or rants. This is Bruce Drennan, Indians sportscaster, decrying their crappiness.



I don't know what he'd do if he was working for the Pirates.

This is awesome: Wikipedia is my favorite

Okay, this is the best thing ever. Evidently Tom Izzo, coach of the Michigan State basketball team, is the king of Mars.

Click to embiggen.

That's right. He's not going to end up coaching LeBron James, he's going to coach the Monstars.

This is awesome: IKE FREAKING DAVIS

Ike Davis is my new personal hero. I've already commissioned a gold statue.

Stephen Strasburg is a chump. There's no way he can hit a ball this far. Ike Davis is already better than Albert Pujols, and he's closing fast on Lou Gehrig. Not quite to Keith Hernandez's level yet, though.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Stephen Strasburg is not a chump. This is all hyperbole.

This is awesome: Why I'm rooting for the Celtics

There are many reasons, but this is high on my list.


I don't even have anything to add.

[via The Sports Hernia, who got it from SportsByBrooks]

EDIT: This is supposed to be an animated GIF, but it's not working. Just go to one of those links if you want to see it in all its glory. It'll be worth it, I swear to you.

This is awesome: Best comeback ever

This is my first football post. I don't really like football, so that's why. Sorry.

Okay, so evidently Visanthe "I Don't Have a Real Name" Shiancoe and Darren "X Marks the Spot" Sharper are having a Twitter fight. The particulars won't be revisited here, mostly because they're irrelevant. What's relevant is Shiancoe's final salvo.

During a team visit with the Minnesota National Guard, one soldier "suggested a custom target for" Shiancoe, which he then tweeted:


Well played, Shiancoe.

This (Sean Casey) is awesome

I just came across this video while looking at stuff for the thing I'm writing on Ken Griffey, Jr. for later, and it displays two things. First, Ken is not the best ever at reading lines. Secondly, though, and more importantly, Sean Casey is awesome.

This is awesome: Here there be wolves

So evidently it's all the rage now to think you're one kind of Universal movie monster or another. I'd heard before about people who claim that they are real vampires of one kind or another - evidently some subsist only on blood, while others are "psychic vampires," who drain people's life force with their minds or something like that. And now, I just found out about the San Antonio teen werewolves. They're a bunch of high school kids who wear cat-eye contact lenses (which look nothing like wolf eyes, I might add) and fake tails and sit around outside malls. I'm assuming that this is all somehow related to Twilight, but they keep calling themselves a wolfpack, so there may be other influences as well.

I don't get it, but as long as people don't get hurt, I don't care what they do. It's kind of amusing, but if it makes them happy, then go for it.

At the risk of going full Simmons, though, there's only one thing that comes to mind for me when I hear about teenage werewolves. And it's definitely not that Taylor Lautner dude (who was surprisingly not horrible on SNL last year). It's this, and only this:


I just hope they don't mind if the basketball coach to recruit them. Because that dude could jump.

This is awesome: Jose Reyes is a playa

I got this from Ted Berg, who is awesome.



It's New York Metropolitan hero Jose Reyes, alongside Miss USA Rima Fakih. Evidently she was on a visit to Citi Field last night. Here's another picture, because she's really attractive and wearing a Mets jersey.



Okay, carry on. That's really all I had.

This is awesome: Ray stung by ray

Okay, so the Tampa Bay Rays used to be called the Devil Rays, back when they used to be horrible. Devil rays are fish, and they live in the Tampa area's bodies of water and such. They look like this:



Sean Rodriguez is a player for the Tampa Bay Rays. According to Google Images, he looks like this:



Now here's the interesting part. The former stung the latter on Monday. Yeah, that's right. A Ray got stung by a ray. Now isn't that rich? He bled a lot, and teammate Jason Bartlett helped him take care of it, after a call to the paramedics.

Maybe at some point these guys will take care of Derek Jeter. That would be nice.